Three-Step Blueprint for Assertive Self-Advocacy

High-achieving individuals often struggle with setting boundaries due to emotional barriers such as guilt, shame, or fear of conflict. Dimitrios Tsatiris M.D., writing in an article reviewed by Michelle Quirk on October 13, 2026, proposes that speaking up is not merely about saying "no" but involves various forms of self-advocacy, including delegating tasks or addressing workload discrepancies.

The Curiosity-Based Approach

Tsatiris identifies a common misconception that boundary-setting equates solely to refusal. In reality, advocating for oneself when perceiving mistreatment or uneven distribution of labor is a critical skill. Many people fail to speak up because they lack a structured blueprint for communication rather than simply lacking the desire to do so.

To address this, the first step is to ask with curiosity. Consider a scenario where a manager assigns more shifts or projects to one employee compared to peers. Feeling frustrated is valid, and silence may inadvertently signal acceptance of the imbalance. The recommended action is to schedule a brief meeting—five to ten minutes—in advance via email to ensure the supervisor is available and prepared for the discussion.

During this conversation, the individual should avoid confrontation or premature conclusions. It is possible the supervisor made an honest mistake or assumed the employee’s conscientiousness meant they could handle extra work. A sample opening statement suggested by Tsatiris is: "I noticed that I have six call shifts this month, but my colleagues only have three call shifts. Can you help me understand the discrepancy in workload?"

Active Listening Techniques

The second phase requires listening with intent. Once the supervisor begins explaining their reasoning, the employee must let go of preconceived notions to fully grasp the perspective being offered. This careful attention is essential because it provides the necessary information to craft an effective subsequent pitch.

This stage transforms the interaction from a complaint into a data-gathering exercise. Understanding the root cause—whether it is staffing shortages or oversight—allows the advocate to tailor their response appropriately. Without this step, any proposed solution may miss the mark or fail to address the actual constraints facing the management team.

Structuring Your Pitch

The final step involves making a pitch that is assertive but not aggressive. An aggressive tone often triggers resistance, whereas demonstrating emotional understanding of the supervisor's predicament increases the likelihood of collaboration. Tsatiris advises offering potential solutions proactively, as the directly impacted individual is often better positioned to identify effective remedies than those unaffected by the issue.

A model pitch includes acknowledging the difficulty, stating personal limits, and proposing a redistribution plan: "Thank you for explaining the situation. I understand that you are in a difficult predicament because we are short-staffed and I appreciate you counting on me to get the job done. However, I cannot continue to take extra calls at this unsustainable pace. I wonder if next month, I can go back to my regular workload by distributing the calls more evenly among everyone in the department."

If the request meets resistance or the extra work is acceptable, the individual can pivot to alternative outcomes such as increased compensation or promotion. This approach frames the situation as a win-win, where filling gaps benefits the organization while providing tangible rewards for the employee. Viewing these interactions as opportunities for personal and professional growth helps refine the ability to advocate effectively.