What does it mean to carry a bag of conflicting emotions as a mother?

Maternal ambivalence—the simultaneous presence of contradictory feelings toward motherhood—was explored in depth during a recent episode of the Australian podcast “Beyond the Bump,” hosted by Sophie Pearce and Jayde Couldwell.

The baby bag metaphor

During the conversation, Jayde Couldwell introduced a defining image: the baby bag as a vessel for emotional complexity. She described motherhood as carrying a bag all day, visibly filled with opposing emotions—frustration, anger, love, and sadness. Each evening, a mother unpacks it—not to discard those feelings, but to recognize their necessity. The next day, she fills it again. Rather than stigmatizing what’s inside, Jayde emphasized using those emotions productively.

She added: “Let's use these feelings to propel us to something more productive.” That word—“propel”—captured the forward-moving, intentional force inherent in ambivalence. It is not paralysis; it is transformation. It is what enables mothers to show up, day after day.

A conversation about layered truths

The dialogue between Pearce and Couldwell revealed recurring themes: mothering as a process of making mistakes and repairing them; the generational symmetry between mothers and daughters; and the evolving freedom to voice emotional truth. As children, both hosts believed their own mothers never erred—but adult reflection revised that view. They acknowledged their mothers also made countless mistakes, often without the space to name them aloud.

They articulated core tensions directly: “The hard things are so often coupled with positive.” “Before having children, I’d never experienced something that made me feel so torn before.” “The reason we go back for more children is that yes, the hard parts are there, but there is beauty to it. It’s this delicate dance.”

What ambivalence really means

When Sophie Pearce admitted uncertainty about the precise meaning of maternal ambivalence, Margo Lowy Ph.D., the guest on the episode, welcomed the question. She responded: “And that's what ambivalence is. It's the ability to have two truths occurring at once.”

The exchange underscored that ambivalence is not indecision or deficiency—it is capacity. It is holding love and exhaustion, devotion and resentment, joy and grief, all within the same breath. The podcast did not seek to resolve those contradictions but to normalize their presence.

The power of a team

Lowy observed firsthand how Pearce and Couldwell functioned as each other’s team: challenging, supporting, affirming, and witnessing. When Jayde unpacked her metaphor, Sophie urged her on—“Jayde, gorgeous, keep going”—and responded emotionally: “my G-d I’m gonna cry.” That dynamic—mutual trust, shared language, and unguarded honesty—exemplified what Lowy describes as essential: having someone who both holds you accountable and has your back.

Their Instagram account poses a pointed question: “How have we never heard of maternal ambivalence?” Through this episode, they answered it—not with theory alone, but with lived articulation, raw phrasing (“carrying a whole f****** bag of emotions”), and accessible imagery.

Making space for emotional transparency

The conversation affirmed several interlocking necessities: safe spaces where mothers can speak openly; normalization of emotional contradiction as part of daily mothering; engagement with metaphors that resonate across experience; use of digital platforms to amplify those exchanges; and recognition that support is not passive—it is active, reciprocal, and rooted in shared vulnerability.

As Lowy noted, the hosts didn’t just describe maternal ambivalence—they claimed it, reimagined it, and retold it in their own voices. Their work mirrors her own emphasis: accepting what the everyday bag contains, being transparent about its contents, and using those contents—not to fix motherhood, but to move through it with intention.